


Heart and Soul

by orphan_account



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Season/Series 04, Worried Oliver, weird mind-body-emotion separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 07:25:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7705774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity emerges from an encounter with Darhk, physically unscathed, and with memories intact… but with no feelings. Diverges from show canon after 4x07.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart and Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written around Thanksgiving during season 4.
> 
> One commenter complained that the fic didn't include a love scene at the end. Sorry. The plot was resolved, and the fic ended.

Oliver would have responded more quickly to the hands around his neck if those hands hadn’t belonged to Felicity. But he was a difficult man to choke, even caught by surprise in the middle of a kiss to the unconscious lips of the woman he loved. Because his body knew how to react, even when his heart and soul were shattering into a million pieces.  
  
… _Two hours before_ …

“Mr. Queen?” Oliver lifted his head to face the doctor, untangling his hands from the back of his neck, stopping his pacing. “You can see her now.”

  
Diggle and Thea followed him into the hospital room. Felicity lay, still as death, blonde hair dry now, spread across the pillow.

  
Her chest rose. Not still as death, then. Oliver’s heart started beating again.

  
“She’s breathing fine on her own. Her pulse is regular. She’s not bleeding - not even bruised. There’s no sign of a brain injury, or any other internal injury.”

  
Oliver didn’t take his eyes off of her. “But.”

  
“But she hasn’t woken up. She doesn’t respond to noises or lights or to being moved. Physically she’s fine, but…”

  
Oliver nodded. He didn’t move when Thea took one hand, or when Diggle put his hand on Oliver’s other shoulder.

  
“You can stay here with her as long as you like, Mr. Queen.”

  
He nodded. “Thank you.”

  
Diggle’s phone buzzed. He stepped out of the room for a moment, or maybe an hour. Oliver was having trouble keeping track of time, even watching her chest rise and fall, regular as the ticking of a clock.

  
Diggle touched Oliver’s arm. “That was Lance. SCPD has spotted some of the ghosts down by the warehouse district.” He paused. Oliver’s jaw tightened. He needed something to hit. And at the same time, he didn’t want to move from this spot, not until Felicity woke up. Diggle nodded as if Oliver had spoken.

“Thea and I will go. Stay here with her.”

  
Oliver nodded, but didn’t turn to watch them go.

  
Some time later, his body started awake before his mind remembered where he was. He had sat in a chair, finally, after a nurse pushed it behind him, and must have fallen asleep with his head on Felicity’s hand. Something had touched him - a finger twitch, maybe? He wasn’t sure. There was no light except for the moon - when had the rain stopped? Felicity’s face glowed slightly in the pale light, still as a princess in one of those old Disney movies, the ones with the songs that Felicity would sing in the shower and laugh at him for not knowing. How did they wake up, again? He leaned over, barely brushing his lips against hers.

  
And then her hands were around his throat.

  
It didn’t take long to remove Felicity’s hands from his throat and restrain them. That wasn’t what threw him, even with the chaos of the nurses around him, helping hold her down. It was her eyes. They were open, and looking at him. And completely, utterly empty.

  
******

  
Everything was black when Felicity opened her eyes. So she closed them and opened them again, in hopes that this was one of those dreams within dreams, you know, where you think you’ve woken up but really you didn’t.

  
And then she remembered. Or rather, the tsunami of feelings crashed over her.

  
_joy_ … Looking at Oliver on one knee, hardly noticing the ring because all she could see was his heart in his eyes, hope and a tiny bit of fear. Why fear? There shouldn’t be fear. So she leapt into his arms - a bit awkward when he was on one knee - and kissed the fear away, whispering _yes… yes_ … against lips that somehow managed to laugh and kiss her back, all at once.

  
_terror_ … Chaos in the campaign office. Volunteers screaming. Ghosts shooting. Oliver… Where? Blackness. But she had experienced things like that before. What was truly terrifying was regaining consciousness in the back of a limo, facing Darhk. That smile that didn’t touch his eyes. Or that did, but not with any emotion that she had ever associated with a smile - and that said a lot, coming from someone who had seen a lot of insane supervillain smiles.

  
_loss_ … Water closing over her head, arms and legs bound, unable to even thrash, thinking _I can’t drown. Oliver hates it when people drown_.

  
She opened her eyes again. If she was thinking, if she was feeling, then she hadn’t drowned. And Oliver wasn’t here. Which meant he would be looking for her. Which meant she needed to figure out where here was, and how to get out of here.

  
Because if she was still alive, then this was some kind of trap. And she was not going to let it catch Oliver.

  
The thought warmed her from the inside. And suddenly she could make out the shape of a floor and walls against the blackness.

  
***

  
A white-coated technician disconnected the electrodes stuck to Felicity’s head. “We’ll analyze her responses now. It might take a few hours.” She hesitated. Oliver tried to school his expression into something less threatening. “I don’t know what we’ll find out. I’ve never seen a case like this.”

  
She left. Oliver sank into a chair beside the bed and held his head up with his hands. Felicity rustled the sheets, turned her head toward him. She had that much freedom of movement, even restrained.

  
Her face was still blank.

  
Oliver searched it, silently, for anything. Finally he had to ask. “Felicity. Do you know who I am?”

  
She looked at him calmly. “Your name is Oliver Queen. You dropped out of four colleges. You disappeared for five years. You have been a nightclub owner, a CEO, and a candidate for mayor.” She paused and looked him in the eye, still completely expressionless. “At night, you have been the Hood, the Arrow, the heir to Ra’s al Ghul, and the Green Arrow.” She paused again. “And now, my fiancé.” Her face was still completely calm. No, not just calm. Empty.

  
He was on his feet in one movement, pacing, still watching her. “Can you cook?”

  
“I try.”

  
“What’s your favorite ice cream?”

  
“Mint chip.”

  
“Card game?”

  
“Blackjack.”

  
“Drink?”

  
“Coffee in the morning. Red wine at dinner.”

  
He paused. “What were you doing when we first met?”

  
“I was chewing on a pen.” She turned her head to follow his pacing, caught his glance as he turned. Her face remained expressionless. “It was red.”

  
He froze, mouth open to ask another question. Nothing came out.

  
Even if he could have said anything, he would have been interrupted by the brightly colored cyclone that burst, shrieking, through the door.

  
“My baby! Oh, honey, I came as soon as I heard you were in the hospital. They said you were awake…”

  
Oliver took advantage of the eye of the storm to try to intercept Donna before she started hugging Felicity. But Donna had already stopped herself.

  
“Who are you, and what have you done with my daughter?”

  
Oliver raised his hands and approached her cautiously. An agitated Donna Smoak was a dangerous Donna Smoak. “Donna. It’s her. It’s Felicity.”

  
“Oliver. Have you looked at her? She didn’t even roll her eyes at me! That… THAT is NOT my daughter.”

  
Oliver tried his placating voice. “Donna. She’s Felicity. Ask her something… anything.”

  
Donna put her hands on her hips and looked at the bed. “Fine. Do you love Oliver?”

  
Felicity returned her gaze evenly. “We’re engaged.”

  
Donna turned to Oliver. “You asked this… THIS… to marry you? Oliver Queen! What were you thinking?”

  
Oliver took a step back, hands up in surrender. “I asked Felicity to marry me. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Felicity would have killed me if you knew before she did, but I promise we haven’t even started talking about where to hold the wedding…”

  
“Oliver Queen - and I need to know your middle name if I am going to be your mother-in-law - I just told you. This is not my daughter.”

  
“But…” Oliver stopped. Took a breath. “Donna. How do you know this isn’t Felicity?”

  
“Oliver, did you look at her face when she answered my question? There was nothing there. Nothing.” She looked over at Felicity, who still looked completely unperturbed by the argument whirling around her. “Last time I was here, that girl was so terrified by how much she loved you. And she yelled at you. And me. And everyone. And you know what she didn’t do?”

  
Oliver just shook his head.

  
“She didn’t do NOTHING. My baby girl, she feels so much. People look at my girl and see how smart she is, and how beautiful she is. And this one is still smart. And still beautiful. But I know, and if you remember to think with that heart that I KNOW is inside that spectacular chest of yours…” Donna tapped his shirt for emphasis -“…you would also know that she isn’t Felicity without feelings.”

  
A knock on the door saved Oliver from having to respond. Diggle walked in, handed Oliver a bag that smelled suspiciously like Big Belly Burger, and glanced at Donna.

  
Donna waved him off. “Go. Eat. Figure out how to get my baby girl back.” She raised her arms and shooed them away. “Don’t just look at me. I know you would move heaven and earth for her. So… Do it.”

  
Oliver followed Diggle into the hall. What else could he do? Argue? With Felicity’s mom? No way.

  
“What’s going on, Oliver? They’re saying that Felicity tried to choke you or something.” Diggle shook his head. “That just didn’t sound right. I mean, she’s been known to hug you a bit too enthusiastically, and sometimes you both get carried away when other folks are around, but choke you? That doesn’t sound like our Felicity.”

  
“I know. But it’s true. She really did try to choke me.”

  
“Is her mom going to be all right in there?” Diggle gestured towards Donna.

  
Oliver huffed a laugh, maybe the first since he’d pulled Felicity out of the bay. “Maybe better than me. She knew in a moment that something was wrong with Felicity. She swears that isn’t her daughter in there.”

  
“Could she be right?”

  
Oliver snapped his head towards Diggle. “What do you mean?”

  
“Could Darhk have put someone in her place? Fooled us…” Oliver was shaking his head, but Diggle pushed on. “No, hear me out, Oliver. You weren’t with her every moment after you brought her to the hospital.”

  
“Someone else wearing Felicity’s face? Aren’t you the one who’s skeptical about strange things happening?” Oliver looked at Diggle curiously.

  
Diggle shrugged. “Oliver, in the past few weeks I’ve seen a man run faster than the speed of sound, a woman sprout wings and claim she lived in ancient Egypt, and friends take off to travel through time. But the strangest thing I’ve heard of is Felicity Smoak trying to choke the man she loves.”

  
Oliver frowned. “She knows things, John. Things about Felicity. Things about me. Things about us.”

  
Diggle raised an eyebrow.

  
Oliver waved away Digg’s concern. “Not those kind of things. I know it’s possible that my sex life is common gossip at Iron Heights. And… maybe other places. But it’s not that. It’s other things - things that only she and I would know.”

  
“Then what’s going on?” Diggle crossed his arms and waited.

  
Oliver laced his hands behind his head. “I don’t know, John. I just don’t know. Maybe I’m too close. Maybe I just want to see her so much. Maybe you and Donna know better than me.” He looked up. “What?”

  
Diggle shook his head. “She’d be proud to see you say that. You’ve come a long way.”

  
Oliver almost smiled, but shook his head back. He didn’t ask the question that was on his mind.

  
Diggle answered it anyway. “Yes, Oliver. I’ll take a look and let you know what I see.” He gestured at the bag of food. “You done? Want to go back in there?”

Oliver took a breath, then nodded.

  
They dropped the empty burger bag in the trash and returned to the room.

  
Oliver hardly registered the questions that Diggle asked, the answers that Felicity gave. He just watched her eyes. Calm. Cool. Empty.

  
They stepped out of the room. Digg shook his head. “I don’t know, man. If anything, I’d say she reminds me of Andy.”

*****

Felicity squinted, and the black walls and floor resolved themselves into patterns. Black and shiny. Black and dull. She ran her fingers along them. Smooth, rough. Smooth, rough.

“If this is art, it’s boring, hideous art. A little color would be nice,” she muttered to herself. “And it’s ridiculously clean. Like, so clean that it’s creepy. If I didn’t already know that I’ve been captured and locked away by some kind of ultimate evil, I’d know it from how clean everything is. Not that I want cockroaches or anything. Just… things just aren’t that clean without, like, slave labor or black magic or something. Which, under the circumstances, is entirely possible. Though so cliched.”

There was a sound from somewhere in the shadows. It sounded almost like a laugh.

Felicity walked toward it. “Hello? Is someone there? Because I heard a laugh, and not an evil supervillain laugh, or even a slightly evil, run-of-the-mill villain laugh.”

She heard it again, a bit more clearly this time. “Maybe an out-of-use-for-way-too-long laugh, but I like those. A lot. In fact, I kind of love them. Not that I have a thing for people who forgot how to laugh. Just for one, really, and he’s more than enough…”

The shadow resolved into a body. A man’s body, slumped on the floor. He would have looked hopeless, except that he was shaking with laughter. And he looked slightly familiar…

“Andy?” He looked up. “Andy Diggle?”

He stopped laughing and looked up. “Do I know you?”

“No. Not really. I mean, you’ve seen me, but we’ve never been formally introduced.” She extended her hand. “Felicity Smoak.”

“Andrew Diggle. Or Andy, to friends and family…” He frowned. “How do you know me again?”

“I’m friends with your brother, John.” Felicity tilted her head. “I guess that would make me a little of both, if friendship were transitive. Which it really isn’t, if you think about it closely. Though family might be, when you get married.”

Andy looked like he was trying to work out exactly what she meant.

“Oh! No, I’m not marrying John. I’m marrying Oliver. That is, if I ever get back to Star City.”

“You’re from Star City? That’s strange. I grew up in a place called Starling City.”

“You’re from Star City, too. Now, I mean. The name changed. And you’re there now, too. Except that you’re also here.” She looked around. “Wherever here is.”

“Couldn’t tell you that.”

“How did you end up here? Because that might help with the whole, where is this creepy clean place thing.” She waved her hands to indicate the walls surrounding them.

“I don’t know.” He frowned. “It’s fuzzy. I think I remember being shot. By a sniper, maybe? Never saw him.”

“A sniper? Not fighting with a short but terrifying girl in red? Not getting unmasked by your brother? Not being a zombie truck-hijacking ghost for HIVE?”

His frown deepened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think… I was in Afghanistan?”

Felicity nodded. “You were shot by an assassin there. Floyd Lawton. Which I guess is another connection that we have, because his laptop made me fall in love. Which… is not relevant. Sorry. I do this thing, sometimes, with my mouth…” She point at her mouth and mimed zipping it. Because this was a weirder than normal mystery, and solving it was more important than nostalgia. “That was eight years ago. You don’t remember anything since then?”

“Eight years?” His face twitched, like he was trying to put together pieces of a puzzle that was mostly missing.

“Eight years. John thought you were dead. Until last month, that is.”

“Eight years.” He looked lost in thought. Though it seemed to Felicity that his features became slightly clearer. Which was totally a mixed metaphor. And also beside the point. “I had… a son. And a wife. Eight years?”

Felicity nodded. “AJ. And Carly.”

“Eight years. AJ would be how old? Ten?”

Felicity’s heart ached. “John takes him to basketball games sometimes. And now AJ is the sweetest big brother-slash-cousin to John’s little girl. She’s one year old now.”

“I can’t believe it’s been eight years.”

Felicity’s heart froze. Metaphorically, that is. “How long did it feel?”

Andy shook his head. “It doesn’t feel like any time at all. Or like all the time in the world. I don’t know.”

The pieces started to connect. Maybe she had half the pieces to the metaphorical puzzle? “You died eight years ago. Except you were here. And you were with HIVE. Which means…”

Which means there might be a soulless zombie Felicity back in Star City. Working for HIVE. Like a worker bee-slash-weapon-slash-thing. Oh, frak. She could just see Oliver’s reaction. She set her shoulders. “We need to figure out how to get back.”

*****

Even when she was asleep, Oliver could tell that something about her was missing. Felicity had this way of crinkling her nose in the middle of dreams and murmuring incomprehensible jargon. He could lie still and just watch her for hours. But right now, there was nothing to watch. Nothing.

Oliver sat, and watched, and ached.

At some point, Digg came in and handed him an apple. Oliver took a bite and chewed.

“You think you’re helping her, sitting here, not sleeping? Eating if someone hands you something?”

Oliver sighed and stretched his neck. “What should I be doing, John? The ghosts seem to have disappeared. Lance hasn’t heard a word from Darhk.” He shook his head. “I would put an arrow in anyone, everyone, if I had any kind of target. But I don’t. What do you want me to do? Campaign?”

Digg shook his head. “I don’t know, man.”

“It’s just… I keep looking at her and expecting her to get up and yell at me in her loud voice, or maybe give me one of her pep talks. ‘If you’re not leaving, I’m not leaving.’ ‘You are not alone.’ ‘Fight to live.’” Oliver sighed. “Last year, I was afraid of doing this with her. Now, I can’t do it without her.”

Digg shrugged. “Sounds like Darhk is getting what he wanted, then.”

Oliver didn’t move when Diggle left.

*****

Felicity ran her hands along the wall. “What do you think this pattern means?”

Andy followed, a few steps behind her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t see patterns. I’m not even sure what you’re touching.”

“You don’t see the walls?” She stopped and frowned at him.

He shook his head. “No.”

“What do you see?”

“Nothing. Just… dark. Except for you. And I didn’t even see you at first.” He paused. “It was different, when I first got here. I thought I had been taken prisoner, thrown into a basement or something. I think there were other people, even. But then it… faded.”

“Faded?”

“Faded. Got darker, fuzzier. The others disappeared into the shadows. At first I fought it, wanted to get home, to Carly, to AJ. But this place… it’s like it sucked out my ability to care.”

*****

Felicity was awake when Curtis came by with flowers. Oliver jumped to his feet and met Curtis at the door.

“I have no idea what flowers are appropriate for ‘I’m sorry that the evil guy tried to drown you,’ so I brought these. How is she, Mr. Queen?”

Oliver took the flowers. “Please, call me Oliver.”

Felicity’s voice, still flat, came from the bed. “Mr. Queen was his father. But he’s dead. He drowned.”

Curtis blinked at Oliver. “That was… weird.”

Oliver twitched, rubbed his finger to his thumb. “That’s one word for it.”

“Has she been like this, ever since…?”

“I’m right here,” Felicity called from the bed.

Curtis walked over and looked at her. “Are you really? All of you?”

She just looked at him.

“Mr… Oliver, could I…?” He gestured at the door.

Oliver nodded and followed him out.

“You know that Ms. Smoak and Dr. Palmer were working on a project before Dr. Palmer… left.” Curtis looked at the walls, the ceiling, the chairs in the hallway, as if they might be listening in.

Oliver quirked his eyebrows and waited for Curtis to continue.

“She was busy with the holidays and the campaign, so she gave their notes and samples to me. And… I found some things. Things that might help with her condition.”

Oliver stood up straighter at that. “Tell me.”

Curtis gave him an odd look, and Oliver wondered if there had been a bit too much Arrow in his voice. “That compound associated with the ghosts. It… do you know what the amygdala is?” Curtis asked.

Oliver shook his head. “Let’s just assume that, if you learned it in school, I don’t remember it, ok?” He heard Felicity teasing him in the back of his head, and pushed it aside. Gently, because it was Felicity and he wanted to hear her teasing so badly. But firmly all the same. Because maybe there was some hope, after all.

“Ok. The amygdala is the part of the brain that deals with emotions. Part of it, at least. The brain is complicated.” Curtis waved his hands in a gesture that might have meant “complicated” in some geek version of sign language. “Anyway, that compound interferes with it, somehow. My guess is that it disconnects emotion and memory - they’re connected, you know?”

Oliver gave half a shrug. Not surprising. He remembered more about Shakespeare from one conversation with Felicity than from any class in high school.

“So if someone gave Ms. Smoak a derivative of that compound, she might remember events, but not the feelings associated with them.” Curtis gestured wildly at the air.

“Is there any way to reverse it?” A note of hope, maybe desperate hope, crept into Oliver’s voice.

*****

Felicity didn’t know how long she and Andy had been walking along the endless black wall. The further they went, the darker it got, and the harder it was to keep moving. Finally, Andy sunk to the ground.

Felicity sighed and joined him. “It was easier when we were talking. I swear it was.”

Andy just hung his head.

“Ok. How about I talk. or Or maybe I ask questions, and you talk. Because there’s a lot that I don’t understand.” She tried to force a smile.

Andy nodded.

“Your brother has been trying to find out what happened to you for, oh, at least three years - that’s as long as I’ve known him. But he just learned some things that don’t make any sense. You were… involved with drug dealers in Afghanistan?”

“Under cover.” He struggled getting the words out. “For an agency… you’ve never heard of them.”

“Sounds like ARGUS.” She shrugged off his surprised look. “Amanda Waller? Scary enough that I’d think she was a bad guy if I hadn’t met honest-to-goodness supervillains? ARGUS is scary, but they have some incredible tech. I love to hack into their surveillance satellite. And Lyla Michaels worked for them. Worked? Works? Sometimes I wonder if you can ever stop working for ARGUS.”

“Lyla? John’s wife?” Andy looked a bit more solid.

“Ex-wife/friend/mother-of-his-baby/wife again. She’s fantastic. And their little girl - Sara - she’s the cutest thing to ever exist.” Felicity smiled. “She just started to walk. John’s simultaneously proud and terrified.”

Andy smiled back. “I want to see her.”

Did the walls get lighter and more distinct? “You will.” Felicity squared her shoulders. “You will.” She ran her hand along the section of the wall again. There was something familiar about the pattern of smooth ridges and rough troughs. She stopped. “Andy. Do you know anything about computer chips?”

He looked confused.

“Ok. Well, if you took a microscopic picture of a computer chip, and blew it up to be the size of a wall… and turned it into horribly depressing art… I think it would feel like this.” She grinned. “Which is good news. Because trying to capture me in a computer chip is a pretty bad idea.”

***

  
“The results of all the tests came back negative. There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with Ms. Smoak.” The doctor looked down at her clipboard. “We’re going to release her.”

Oliver scowled. “You have no idea why she tried to strangle me.”

The doctor sighed. “Mr. Queen, this is a hospital, not a police station. If you need a restraining order on your fiancée, I suggest…”

“You have no idea what to do.” Oliver didn’t even try to keep the growl out of his voice.

“Mr. Queen, I can recommend some excellent therapists.” She leveled a significant look at him. “For both of you.” She turned and left.

Felicity was watching him. “How do you plan to restrain me now?” It could have been teasing. It SHOULD have be teasing, with a ramble about leather and ninja-silk. But it wasn’t.

Oliver shut his eyes for a moment, then sighed. “Felicity, why did you try to strangle me?”

She looked back at him silently.

“Did Darhk tell you to, before he tried to drown you?”

“No.”

Oliver walked away, hands laced behind his head. “Then why?” He stopped, turned, threw his hands in the air. “What did he do to you? Did he give you… a pill? Inject you with something?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. Her expression didn’t change. “I hate needles.”

He set his hand on the back of the chair. Or rather, he meant to just set his hand down, but it slammed into the back of the chair hard enough to sting. “You don’t sound like you hate needles. Felicity, you get more worked up about the type of sugar in your coffee than you are right now.”

“I fought back. Before he threw me in the bay. He told me I had a lot of passion. And it was messy.”

A few hours later, they left the hospital, Oliver and Diggle flanking Felicity. She just walked, looking straight ahead. Oliver’s right hand twitched, thumb to finger. His left hand wanted to reach for hers, take her elbow on the way down the stairs, anything, but he didn’t know what would happen if he touched her.

Diggle glanced at him. “Where are we going?”

“First, the campaign office.” Oliver gritted his teeth and tried to avoid thinking of Felicity, caged. By him. He wasn’t sure there was a choice. But he knew that whatever he did, it would feel like he had done the wrong thing.

*****

Felicity kept running her hands over the wall. “The problem is, you can’t tell what a chip is supposed to do just by looking at it. Or feeling it. It needs code. I can try to follow a circuit, I guess, and figure out what it connects to…” She sighed, frustrated. “But I just don’t know.” Her brain was starting to feel loose and mushy, and she had trouble following anything.

Andy watched her. “So, this Oliver, your fiancé, John’s friend. Tell me about him.”

What was there to say about Oliver, especially to someone whose body in the real world - is that what it was? - was locked in a cell in Oliver’s secret superhero lair? “He cooks. Like, seriously cooks. Like gourmet meals in a crockpot.” Felicity laughed, remembering the time Oliver spent the entire day wearing only an apron, after she told him that she didn’t think anyone could do it. “He learned how to make latkes for Hanukkah. They were so delicious. I thought he was going to actually make all the food for the Christmakkah party at the the campaign office. Oh!” She stopped moving, remembering. “He’s running for mayor.” She shook her head quietly. “He had some… rough years. He wants to be a better person, and doesn’t always see what a good person he’s become.”

Andy smiled.

Felicity smiled back. Somehow, it made her feel more solid. She turned back to the wall, and continued tracing the circuit.

***

  
Oliver looked at Felicity through the bars. She looked back. “Felicity. Let’s play a game.”

“What game are we playing?” Felicity’s voice should have been teasing.

Oliver took a breath, and tried to ignore just how calm her face was. “‘I love you but I just can’t smile.’ Do you remember the rules?”

“I’m the one who taught you the rules.” How could Felicity’s face be so blank when talking about things they did last summer? “One of us says 'I love you, but I just can’t smile.’ Repeat until someone smiles. First one to show teeth loses.” She blinked. “In college, it was a drinking game, but we played it like strip poker.”

Oliver shut his eyes for a moment and nodded. “I’ll start.” He took a breath to compose himself. “I love you, but I just can’t smile.”

Felicity looked back at him, expressionless.

Oliver stood up and walked the length of the cell, as if he were the one trapped in it. “I love you, but I just can’t smile.”

No response.

He grabbed a bar of the cell and gritted his teeth. “I love you, but I just can’t smile.”

“I saw your teeth,” she said.

Oliver spun around, ripped off his shirt, and stalked back to the workout area.

He was still attacking the dummy with sticks when Thea walked in.

“Well, at least you’re not still moping.” She gave him one of her looks.

“I haven’t been moping. I’ve been… concerned.” Oliver glanced at Felicity’s cell as he pulled on a shirt.

“Oh? You haven’t patrolled. You haven’t campaigned. You even slept down here, Ollie. Where did you even get that bed?” Thea pointed into the corner.

“Felicity bought it for me last year. Before I moved into the loft.” He returned her sharp look. “What?”

“That’s exactly what I mean. You were in the hospital, and that made sense, but now you’re here. Watching some shell of your girlfriend sit in a cage. I didn’t know you had a sick zoo fetish, Ollie.” She was challenging him, and he knew it.

But he rose to the bait anyway. “What do you want me to do? I don’t know how much control Darhk has over her. I don’t understand his plan.” He slammed his fist into the table of workout gear.

“Maybe this IS his plan. Hurt you. Incapacitate you. Get you out of the way, so he can do… whatever he’s doing.” She threw her hands in the air. “Don’t ask me. I don’t even understand what my evil dad has planned most of the time.” She rolled her eyes at Oliver’s look. “You’re doing exactly what he wants, Ollie.”

Oliver stalked across the room, looking for water bottle. “Fine. But give me a suggestion.”

Thea smiled. “I know it’s a sign of how bad everything is, but it’s refreshing having you listen to me.” She ducked the water bottle that he threw at her, spun around, and came up holding it. “I think you need to make another campaign appearance. Give the public some of that hope you promised them.”

“It will have to be fake,” Oliver grumbled.

“You used to be good at being fake, Ollie. What happened?” Thea glanced across the lair towards Felicity’s cell. “Never mind. I already know the answer to that.”

 *****

Oliver looked out at the crowd. It was small - the wind was whipping around the bay, and the sky looked like rain. The weather was reason enough for his supporters to be subdued, though Oliver suspected that his own lack of enthusiasm was contagious. He stepped down from the podium and made his way back towards the car, shaking hands and trying to keep the smile plastered onto his face.

The last person between him and the car was Damian Darhk. Oliver froze, except for his twitching fingers.

“A fine enough speech, though not up to your usual standards, Mr. Queen.” Darhk’s gaze cut through Oliver’s political veneer. “Less passion than usual.” He gestured to the crowd. “Not very energizing.”

Oliver glared at him.

“Though it’s not so surprising. How is your fiancée… Ms. Smoak, is it?”

“What do you want?” Oliver forced out the words between clenched teeth.

“From you? Exactly what you’ve been doing. Nothing.” His smile could have cut glass. “You may be used to people who value your… talents. Personally, I find them messy. There are other skills that suit my needs.” He stepped back and disappeared into the crowd. “Have an interesting day, Mr. Queen.”

Oliver turned towards the car, unsettled. His phone buzzed, pulling him from his thoughts.

Oliver glanced at the screen and answered it immediately. “John. What’s going on?”

“Bad news, Oliver,” Diggle replied. “I went to visit my brother. He’s gone.” There was a pause on the line. “And so is Felicity.”

***

Felicity looked at the strange black wall and shook her head. “The circuit just loops around. I mean, that’s what electrical circuits do, they make loops, but this one doesn’t DO anything. It’s like a hamster wheel for electrons, going around and around and around and around…” She stopped, feeling dizzy. “Which is what we’re doing, isn’t it. Going around in circles.”

Andy nodded. “That’s what it felt like when I first got here. Like going in circles. It wears you down, after a while.” He paused. “Thinking about Carly helped. But it wasn’t enough eventually. At least, it wasn’t enough until I laughed again.”

***

Oliver wished that he had his motorcycle and leather, rather than a car and a suit jacket. He drove as fast as reasonable, which was a lot slower than he would have driven in his misspent youth, and a hell of a lot slower than his Ducati. When he reached the office, he ignored the campaign workers and headed straight for the elevator, only to be waylaid by Curtis. He had no time for this. He tried to push Curtis aside, but Curtis wouldn’t move out of the way.

“Mr… Oliver. I need to talk to you.” Curtis waved his arms towards the crowd of interns and volunteers. “Someplace… secure.” He tilted his head toward the elevator, then leaned towards Oliver and whispered, “I know.”

Oliver glared at Curtis and grabbed his elbow. “Fine. After you.”

As soon as the elevator doors slid shut, Curtis raised his hands in surrender. “I swear I wouldn’t have touched Ms. Smoak’s computer if she hadn’t… you know.” He met Oliver’s scowl and tried to back up another step. “She had a feed to hacked traffic cameras on her computer in the lab. I know she was staying in this building.” He raised his eyebrows at Oliver. “And I know she left. And not with you.”

The elevators doors slid open. Oliver stopped him in the doorway, suddenly realizing that Curtis hadn’t known everything. At least, not until that moment.

It was too late. Curtis’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?” He raised his hands as if measuring Oliver. “Ok. Fine. You ARE him. Which explains why neither of you seem particularly concerned about Ms. Smoak’s relationship with the other one. I mean, it could have been an open relationship for all I know…”

Oliver just shook his head and got out of the way.

Curtis tried to turn his head around in a full circle to take everything in. “This place is amazing!”

His excitement was so contagious that Oliver almost smiled. “A lot of the credit goes to Felicity and her friends.” Oliver’s smile faded. “So you’ve picked her up on the traffic cameras. What can you tell me about where she is?”

“Fifteen minutes ago, she was headed uptown. Now…” He looked at the bank of computers. “May I?”

Oliver nodded.

“Umm. Do you know the password?” Curtis stepped out of the way to let Oliver get to the keyboard.

Oliver typed the password, then walked away. “Did you find anything?”

“Not yet. Though some of the camera feeds have been wiped, over by Kord Industries.” He glanced over towards Oliver, who was on his way to the case with the suit. “Oh, yeah. You might want this.” Curtis pulled a vial of a pink liquid from his pocket. “I’ve got a sample of the antidote we were talking about. I don’t know if it will reverse the effects.”

Oliver looked confused.

“Of that other compound? That affects the amygdala? If I’m correct, this should have the opposite effect.” Curtis hesitated. “Do you want to test it on her? I can understand why you might want a different test subject…”

“Do you have enough for more than one dose.?” Oliver asked, reaching for an arrow.

Curtis nodded.

Oliver removed the arrowhead and handed it to Curtis. “Put some in here. I’ll get a syringe, too.”

Curtis frowned. “You know Ms. Smoak hates needles.”

Oliver nodded. “And other pointy things. But she has a history of overcoming her fears when she needs to.” He smiled slightly. “And I hope she gets very, very angry about this.”

Curtis turned away. “I don’t think I want to know.”

“It’s not like that.” He paused. “If she gets angry, we’ll know it worked.”

“Hello…?” Thea walked in, followed by Diggle. “What’s going on?”

Oliver stopped, tried to remember who knew what, and decided to start with introductions. “Curtis Holt, these are John Diggle and Thea Queen.”

Curtis looked from one to the other. “…Speedy? …And Spartan?”

Oliver nodded. “Curtis… ummm… figured some things out.”

“Though not this…” Curtis gestured at the room. “At least until the elevator opened.”

Diggle frowned at Oliver. “Are you ok, man?”

Oliver looked at him, confused.

“You seem off your game, that’s all.” Digg gave Oliver a penetrating look. “You sure you can deal with this? I mean, we don’t even know how Felicity got out.”

Oliver shrugged. “She designed the security.”

“Yeah, man. But none of us thought she could disable it from there.” Diggle pointed at the cell. “What else can she do? More important, what’s she planning to do? And how’s she getting orders?”

“John, Curtis has something that might reverse the affects of whatever happened to her.” Oliver felt desperation creep into his voice. “Maybe it will even cure Andy.”

“And maybe it won’t, and we’ll end up in a building full of ghosts, and one of them will be your fiancée. What will you do then? Could you take her down, if it came to that?”

Oliver’s jaw worked, but nothing came out.

“If you had to put an arrow into her, Oliver, could you do it?” Digg asked, softer.

Oliver shook his head. “I don’t know, John.”

Curtis coughed tentatively. “Sounds like you need a plan.”

“You think?” Thea rolled her eyes.

“Maybe I can help.” Curtis turned to the computer screen and pulled up some images. “Before you two came in,” he started, looking from Thea to Diggle, “I noticed that some of the traffic cameras near Kord Industries have been wiped. But look at this one,” he said, pointing to one of the images.

“That looks like Felicity,” Thea said. Everyone looked at her. “Ok! So I’m Captain Obvious today! But she looked right at the camera before it went out.”

“And that was Andy behind her,” Diggle added.

“And she has her tablet,” Curtis pointed out. “And if she’s hacking traffic cameras, she could be planning to hack something else.”

Oliver finally joined them, half hopeful, half dreading what he would see. “Back up. There. Is that one of the ghosts?”

Thea nodded. “I think so.”

Curtis typed frantically. “The Kord network just went offline.”

“So we know where she is.” Oliver turned to the changing area.

“Oliver. Are you sure you don’t want to sit this one out?” Diggle looked concerned.

Oliver shook his head. “I can’t just stay here. Not without her.”

“Then what are we going to do when we find her?” Digg asked.

“There’s antidote in these arrows,” Oliver handed some to Thea. “Grab some tranquilizer flechettes, too. John, could you set up watch on the roof? We just need surveillance cameras…”

Curtis waved. “I can try to get them back on line. But Ms. Smoak is good.”

Oliver gritted his teeth and strapped on his quiver. “I know.”

***

Felicity sat beside Andy and reviewed what they had figured out. “This place is some kind of complicated circuit. It doesn’t seem to do anything except go in circles. It wears you down. And laughing makes things better… brighter… more solid. What have I missed?”

“Talking about people back home helps.”

“Right.” Felicity frowned. “But not about everyone. We could talk about Amanda Waller all day without making a difference.”

As if on cue, Andy’s outline became less distinct. Felicity’s eyes widened.

“John! Lyla! Carly! AJ! Baby Sara!”

Andy solidified again as he laughed.

“Hey! Maybe we should share the sappiest things we can think of. How about… you tell me something about AJ.” She leaned forward and grinned.

Andy frowned, as if he was struggling a bit with the memory. “His first birthday cake was… carrot cake, I think. He ended up wearing it like a hat.”

“Icing side up?”

“No, icing side down. I think that cake ended up everywhere but his mouth.” There was a hint of a smile around his face. “Your turn.”

Felicity thought for a moment. “On my last birthday, Oliver…” She blushed. “I don’t think I should tell that one.” The markings on the wall brightened for a moment. “How about baby Sara’s first steps. I didn’t see them, but John says she just pulled herself up and walked straight toward the wedding photos and started pulling them down. He and Lyla moved so fast to get them. And then she starts pointing at the photos and babbling names.”

Andy laughed, and she joined in. As they stopped to breath, Felicity heard something else, almost beyond her ability to hear. A hum? It seemed to come from the walls.

Andy heard it, too. “What’s that?”

“I think… I think this place siphons energy from us. Or, well, from our feelings. And it turns into sound, and light, and probably heat. And that’s where our energy goes. That’s why this place wears us out.” Felicity brightened. “But we can use that. Maybe we can short it out, by feeling too much. Want to try?”

The hum got louder, and the walls got brighter, as Felicity launched into a story about Oliver, and her mom, and Vegas.

***

“In position.” Diggle’s voice came through Oliver’s earpiece. “I can see two of the entrances from here.”

“I can see the third,” Thea added.

“Curtis, how are those cameras coming?” Oliver asked.

“No luck.” Curtis sounded more surprised than frustrated. “But there are architectural plans for the whole building here. Wiring, plumbing, everything. You know, it’s a bit weird, knowing my CEO could be put away for corporate espionage…”

Oliver may have growled through the coms.

Curtis coughed. “Right. There’s a server room in the basement. Maybe start there.”

“I’m heading in.” Thea’s voice, then sounds of voices grunting, then Thea breathing a bit heavily. “Two ghosts in the stairwell.”

Oliver headed for the nearest door, arrow nocked.

Sound of a high-precision rifle from the roof. Diggle’s voice through the coms. “Two ghosts at the south entrance down.”

Empty stairwell. Oliver sped down it, stopped at the corner to check the space below, then continued and stopped, again, at the basement door. “East stairwell clear.” He opened the door a crack, peeked through, shot off three arrows in quick succession. “Three ghosts down, basement, by the east stairwell door.”

Across the coms, the twang of an arrow followed by the sound of boots hitting flesh. “Two more on my side of the basement,” Thea reported.

Oliver worked his way along the corridor, kicking in doors as he went. “Nothing on the east hall. Checking the south end.”

“The server room should be that way,” Curtis said.

There was a noise behind Oliver, and he turned to see Thea following him. He nodded towards the left doors, and started checking the ones on the right.

A gunshot from the other side of the hall. Thea, breathing heavily through the coms. “I think that’s Andy. I’m going after him. And Oliver?” She hesitated. “There are blinking lights in here. It looks like the kind of place where Felicity would be.”

Oliver took a deep breath. “I’ll be right there.” He turned from his doorway, only find a ghost face-to-face with him. Oliver kneed him in the gut, then hit him with the bow for good measure, and ran into the last doorway that Thea had opened.

He rushed past the sound of fighting, doubled through the coms. He stopped for a moment, behind the cover of a server rack, and waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark room with its blinking LEDs.

A profile was silhouetted against the blinking lights. Pony tail. Glasses. Felicity turned. “Oliver.” Her eyes were hidden behind reflections.

“Felicity.” He stopped. Tried to figure out what to say. “What…? Why…?”

“The virus is nearly installed.” She glanced at the noise.

There was a gasp behind him, and then Thea’s voice in his ear. “I got Andy with the tranquilizer first, then the antidote. But he was out already. I can’t tell if it worked.”

Oliver looked at Felicity and chose.

Fighting when you don’t want to kill is hard enough. Fighting when you don’t want a single punch to connect, when all you want is to stroke your opponent’s hair, calm her, keep all the villains away… nearly impossible. Oliver bounced slightly on the balls of his feet, gauging the distance between them. He circled once, making sure of the locations of each metal shelf, each protruding keyboard. Finally, he launched himself at Felicity, grabbed her around the waist, and rolled as they landed to keep her from hitting her head.

She moved quickly beneath him, getting her feet beneath her, shifting her hips, ready to thrown him off. He moved with her - he’d taught her that move, and its counter, and the counter of its counter. They moved like a slow dance, knowing each other too well. The last time they had done this, on the mats in the lair, they had ended up kissing until Thea walked in on them.

Felicity caught his wrist and twisted. But Oliver was still on top, and was heavier, and she couldn’t get the leverage she needed. He shifted his weight, pinning one arm with his body and the other with his left hand, and pulled the syringe from his pocket.

***

“…ain’t no valley low enough… ain’t no river wide enough…” Felicity spun around and pointed her imaginary microphone at an imaginary partner. “…to keep me from getting to you, babe…” The walls got brighter and buzzed, almost like feedback.

Andy nearly collapsed, laughing. “No, you’re right. We should have had you singing at our wedding reception.” He stopped to breath. “What songs do you want, at yours?”

Felicity thought for a moment. “Remember, I’m from Vegas. My mom will probably hire an Elvis impersonator band. Too bad Oliver doesn’t dance.” She tilted her head. “But I like this one. One of mom’s boyfriends even taught me to play the duet on a lounge piano once…” She lifted her imaginary mic and began.

“Heart and soul  
I fell in love with you  
Heart and soul…”

The walls popped and flashed. And then, suddenly, it was dark again.

***

Oliver pushed the plunger of the syringe. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I know you hate needles.” Her body went slack beneath his. Oliver exhaled, resting his head against her neck. She didn’t move. Finally, he raised his head and spoke over the coms. “I injected Felicity. She’s out… But I don’t think it worked.”

Three voices sighed back through his earpiece. Digg was the first to speak. “Sorry, man.”

Curtis joined in. “I thought I had it.” Sadly.

And then Felicity’s body jerked, and Oliver moved to pin her arms again, hoping Thea would see and bring the zip ties.

And then Felicity blinked, looked up, and met his eyes. And then a surprised, delighted, beautiful smile broke across her face. “I’ve missed having you on top of me. And around me. And everywhere.”

Oliver’s face felt like it was about to crack in half, his smile was so wide. “Me too.”

And then he kissed her.

She wrapped her hands around his neck…

And pulled him closer as she kissed him back.

***

 _fin_  


End file.
